Tag Archives: stress

Dear diary

Today was one of those days. My boys exposed and stomped on every nerve I have, my daughter has cried and thrown more fits than ever, my demons (see anxiety/bipolar) put up an extra hard fight, I didn’t get even half the stuff I wanted done today, and the list goes on. It’s definitely been a count the minutes to bedtime type of day. Even that is kind of a catch 22 since I’m dreading tomorrow being Monday already.

On days like today I try and sit and think about the good things to try and drown out the bad. I’m lucky to have healthy beautiful kids even though they’ve been assholes, I have a house, and a job, my demons fought but they didn’t win, my kids lost cartoon privileges so we spent the day watching the Mummy and Solo which they ended up enjoying. Parenting win am I right?

Anyway I’m not really sure what the point of this post was, writing is kind of a release I guess and maybe someone who reads this has a shitty day and now they know they’re not alone? As always thanks for reading even posts like these where it’s just kind of me rambling on.


19 Resolutions for 2019

  • Here we are 2019 can you believe it? I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. It’s crazy how when thinking in the present, time seems to drag but when you take a step back the years really seem to blur together because they just flew by. I decided to start off the New Year I’d do a resolutions blog post. I tried to go more toward meaningful than cheesy or easily failed so in no particular order here are 19 resolutions for 2019.
    1. Get out and do more. When you have anxiety and three kids it’s pretty easy to find excuses to stay home. This year I want to step out of my comfort zone and try and get out of the house more. Whether it’s a walk, trip to the park, or a museum of some kind I really want to try and do more things this year.
      Make more ears. Since our last trip I have been lacking in the motivation department. I really I need to get my butt back in gear and start making Minnie ears again. It’s something I’m really enjoy doing and I need to do more things I really enjoy.
      Get rid of stuff. I’m sure a lot of people can relate to this one. I have too much stuff, seriously it’s crazy how much unnecessary things you can accumulate over the years. I’ve read that the more stuff you have the more stress you have and I believe it.
      Focus. This one kind of ties into number 3. I need to be better at focusing on one thing at a time. Multitasking can be great but it can also make you feel like you haven’t gotten anywhere. My closet, the garage, my kids rooms, the laundry, pick just about any of those and you’ll see me trying to do at least three of them at once. In the end the small dents I make in all of them feels and sometimes look like nothing. Time is better spent focusing on one thing until it’s done and then moving to the next.
      Read more. I’ve always loved reading. Getting a library card was the best thing ever when I was kid. All through high school and even after I used to spend hours upon hours reading. The last few years I’ve bought books but haven’t made time to read. Finding a good book is like making a new friend. Like Walt Disney once said “There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate’s loot on Treasure Island.”
      More trips to Disneyland. I mean does this one really need explaining? It’s the happiest place on earth and the feeling you get while you there is a feeling I’d like to feel as much as possible this year.
      Meal prep. One goal I have this year is to eat healthier and meal prepping will not only help with that but it will also save tons of money. Too often do I put off going to the store or making food ahead of time for work the next day so of course I end up buying fast food. This is like the trifecta of bad, it’s expensive, it’s generally unhealthy, and it usually doesn’t end up tasting as good as I’d hoped.
      Drink more water. I do really well at this for a while and then I’m back to going all day without a glass of water and then wonder why I feel so awful. I really need to get better about drinking a healthy amount everyday.
      Be more active. Whether it’s a walk around the block or I get around to putting the treadmill together I need to make an effort to get off my butt more this year.
      Cut back on energy drinks. I basically run on caffeine and sarcasm so this will be a hard one. I have been drinking energy drinks for MANY years. I have vowed to stop many times and failed miserably. The only time I didn’t drink them is when I was pregnant. Funny how it’s easier to quit unhealthy habits when someone else’s life is in your hands. On top of being terrible for you the amount of money I spend on them every month is embarrassing!
      Go to bed earlier. Another hard one. Some nights it’s the insomnia keeping me up but there are a lot of nights I, like I’m sure many of you, get caught up in tv shows or mindlessly scrolling through my Facebook feed. If I can go to bed at a decent time even like twice a week I will call that a win.
      Spend less money. I think too often we all spend money on things we don’t really need. Whether it’s fast food or buying something on impulse, we could all probably try a little harder to ask ourselves “do I really need this?”
      Take vitamins. Not much to say about this one. They’re good for you and if you’re like me sometimes you forget to eat or maybe just forget to eat healthy. Taking a daily vitamin definitely can’t hurt.
      Go camping! This one I’m excited for, I really love camping. Being disconnected from the rest of the world for a couple of days is a fantastic feeling. Everyone needs a reset every now and then.
      Learn how to cope better. Stress and anxiety can be all consuming at times. Finding healthy ways to cope with it all is a must this year.
      Tame the temper. I’ll be the first to admit I can go from 0 to 60 some days when the right thing sets me off. I’d really like to get better with that.
      Start a book. Maybe? I’m not sure on this one yet. My mom seems to think my life has been interesting enough that people may want to read it about it. What do you think?
      Focus more on the good. It’s really easy to focus on the struggles and stress that we are dealing with. I want to try harder to focus on the good things I have in my life.
      Be happier. I think if we all made it a habit to just be happy it would be easier to really be happy. I also think happiness is contagious so on the days it’s harder to smile I want to remind myself who else I may be helping.
  • Phew! That was a long list, hopefully you stuck with me. I know a lot of these kind of tie into each other but I think it’s easier to break your goals down and accomplish them bit by bit. The broader they are the easier it is to make excuses and the easier it is to fail. What are your goals for this year? Leave them in the comment section below. We can totally do this!
  • Powering through

    It’s funny how quickly things can change. One minute you’re happy and where you want to be then boom things do a 180 And you’re left trying to make sense at all.

    Recently I’ve dealt with some changes at work. Decisions were made for me that I wasn’t given a choice in and honestly it sucks. We will just say I was where I wanted to be and now I’m not. It’s incredibly discouraging but what do you do? I mean I could walk away and honestly there are moments where I wish I could but there’s that annoying thing called adulting which makes walking away not really an option.

    I have people that depend on me, four to be exact, my kids and my husband. We could probably slide by on just my husbands income but we wouldn’t really be living. We’ve done the barely scraping by thing and I don’t ever want to go back to that. We’re in a pretty good spot right now, we both make decent money which allows us to go to Disneyland a few times a year or buy our kids a new video game. More importantly we can pay our bills and still buy food, so I have to power through. This is the first time in a long time we can turn on the heater and not worry about if we’ll be able to pay the bill so I have to power through.

    Getting up and going to work everyday is going to feel different now. Most people aren’t fortunate enough to do what they are truly passionate about but even just enjoying what you do can make a world of difference. I’ve never been one of the lucky ones to make a living out of what I love but I did enjoy what I was doing. When it comes to passion, for me, it’s always been writing. If I could make money off this little old blog here that would be the life. However that is just a dream and I have to live in the real world which means waking up and going to do something that isn’t horrible by any means but that I don’t enjoy. I will just have to suck it up and power through.

    Don’t worry about me though, someday my mom is going to win the Powerball she told me so 😉. Then I’ll be writing this blog from one of our vacation homes not far from Disneyland. Hey if you’re going to dream, dream big right?