When it comes to parenting, you may be itching to offer some world class advice, just don’t. Once we become parents, we gradually become more confident in our abilities and our knowledge on the subject. Throw in multiple children and you may as well be deemed a parenting expert. You maywant to share that knowledge with the world, but unless someone is asking for it don’t.
I’ve been doing this parenting gig for almost 12 years now I mean if this were Call of Duty I would have Prestiged a few times at this point. Even then I still don’t know everything and as for what I do know, a lot of it is specific to my kids and may not even apply to yours or anyone else’s which is why I am not running out there bombarding other parents with unwanted advice on how they should parent their children.
There are a few things that do not fall into the unwanted parenting advice category that if someone brings these things to your attention you should listen. Things like car seat safety, regardless of your feelings, carseat safety is not a parenting choice. I don’t care if your grandma survived rolling around in the back of her dads Buick, lots of kids didn’t. A lot of kids have died due to car seats not being used properly, when we know better, we do better. With most other things though, unless you are being asked specifically for your advice keep it to yourself.
Over the years I have definitely been given my fair share of unwanted advice about everything from binkies to sleeping arrangements to discipline. One of the quickest ways to get me to tune you it, given you don’t just piss me off, is to start telling me how I should raise my kids when I didn’t ask you. Recently I had a family member do this to me. Currently my daughter hates being in the car for long periods of time. Now I’m not talking whining or a bit of a fit, I’m talking crying so hard that she will throw up. You want to hear scary? Try having to go from driving 65 miles an hour down the Interstate to pulled over on the side of the road within a matter of seconds because your baby is choking on her vomit. That was a rough day. Needless to say, we currently don’t take any unnecessary long drives. She’s slowly getting better and will grow out of it eventually. Anyway, this family member is a parent themselves although it’s been a few decades since they’ve had an infant, they felt the need to tell me how I should go about fixing this issue of my daughter hating the car. Let’s just say the “advice” given was pretty terrible unless I was aiming for traumatizing my daughter.
The funny thing is I never once asked for their opinion or their advice. I simply was explaining why I couldn’t drive to another family members house who lives about an hour away. Thankfully this was done over text so I did not respond so harshly like I would have in the moment were it in person. This isn’t my first kid, this isn’t even my first kid who hated the car and I am good with not going on longer car rides if it means less stress for all of us. The stress caused by a child who is crying in the car can actually make driving unsafe for the parent and therefore everyone else in that car and on the road. (That is an actual fact from a study I read, not just my opinion)
I guess to bring this thing back around to my point, I know that it feels good to actually feel like you know what you’re doing when itcomes to parenting and I know it can be hard to not tell others what you think they should be doing but there is a real good chance it’s not going to be received well and there’s a real good chance that they’ve already tried it or whatever you’re going to suggest isn’t their parenting style. So as a parent my only advice to you is, even if you think you should, just don’t. Oh and if you’re not a parent abort mission immediately, everyone is a perfect parent when they don’t have kids.