Today has been one of those days. One of those days that you’re not sure you’re going to through. I woke up exhausted, not entirely convinced I actually slept between the last time I looked at the clock last night and the first time I looked at it this morning. I went into work stuck on autopilot. I work for a pretty great place but today was definitely one of those days I wished I could work from home.
Today my husband had to take me to work (oh the joys of having one car) because he needed it. Of course last night I didn’t make myself lunch and if you’ve read my previous posts you know I can’t make it in the morning stumbling in the dark while trying to not wake my daughter. I figure it’ll be okay because he works later (we work together) and I can just run out and get something. Alas, that is not the case because it turns out he’s not feeling well and can’t come in. Icing on the cake I now need a ride home. Thankfully I have wonderful coworkers and I was able to get lunch. Partway through the morning I get a message from my husband saying he’s headed to the hospital, diabetes is a bitch let me tell you, so of course the stress level rises.
Finally the work day is over, another one of my amazing co workers brought me to the hospital to get my car. Now my day kind of starts again but in mom mode. My daughter is fussy, pretty sure she’s getting more teeth so who can blame her, my four year old is in that test you phase and my god does that wear your nerves down. Once the oldest gets home there’s bickering and attitude, my goodness do they argue, do your kids argue? Someone please comment and tell me it’s not just my kids.
So let’s recap, exhaustion, sick husband, kids each presenting their own set of difficulties, and mom who’s sanity and patience checked out somewhere along the way. Of course all of this is a remedy for a lower patience and a short fuse. So today I got frustrated faster and I yelled and then I felt like shit for it. The boys are both at a hard age right now and I find myself losing it quicker and then feeling like a terrible mom. Having kids is kind of like taking a test you didn’t study for and being almost certain you’re going to fail.
There are definitely more good days than bad but it sure seems that the bad ones stick out more. Today is one of those days I’ll be happy to forget. It’s late and all is quiet, my kids are asleep and looking at them now brings a sense of calm. Tomorrow is a new day and all I can do is try to be better than I was today. Hopefully in the end what my kids will remember most about me is how much I loved them and not the days I let myself get the best of me.